Sometimes, I am a person of simple wants. I have been muchly cheered up lately by three things:
- I did some liveblogging of Kill la Kill, I’ve been watching Haikyuu!! and YowaPeda, and this all relaxes me a lot, I STILL LOVE ANIME HOORAY (now if I could just get back into reading manga again)
- RobotSquid’s Covenant is 73K HOLY CRAP SO LONG and I’m about 10k into it and I’m adoring it so far, there’s a lot of really great little world building touches and I am enjoying a boatload of ~*feelings*~ about Thor and Loki and their childhood and Loki being a dumbass about his issues, all of which is ridiculously good for me.
- This, You Protect finally updated!!! It looks like a really short chapter and probably won’t have CONTACT yet, but I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER. It’s Bucky POV fic where he’s still the Winter Soldier but Bucky’s instincts and personality leak out around the edges, so I spend most of my time reading this just CACKLING with laughter as he deals with deciding his mission is to protect Steve now and STEVE IS A DUMBASS NEVER LET HIM TELL YOU OTHERWISE. It’s gen, but the Steve/Bucky is strong with this one.
The longer I’m in fandom, the more I actually grow to really love FEELS AND PORN the most. It’s nice to be able to get a bit more variety in them, but I think what I really love is that the fics that end up on these lists tend to be the ones that I consider the ‘salt of the earth’ of the fandom, the kind that make up the foundation of why I’ve read so much and loved so much in this fandom!
SO MANY GOOD FICS. ….also some REALLY GOOD PORN.
→ Calling Truces by Asidian, thor/loki, NSFW, 4.1k
He fought ever onward- fell back to the ice that drained his magic far less than learned spells- froze circuits and clogged weaponry, turned the world to cruel winter and let his skin bleed from pale to blue. When his blood was shed, it froze, and there was a grim satisfaction in the way the humans scrambled from their battle, the way they saw his form and named him monster.
→ Faceless by thefirstwhokneels, thor/loki, NSFW, anonymous sex, 6.4k
There is a special tavern in Asgard where, in complete anonymity, anyone can have their desire granted. Both Thor and Loki share the passion for what the tavern provides - it is only that they don’t know it of each other…
→ Unmasked by thefirstwhokneels, thor/loki, NSFW, anonymous sex, 10k
Sequel to Faceless. Thor and Loki don’t know of each other that they visit the same special tavern for special needs… Can this stay forever this way, or like every secret, it’s bound to be revealed, too?
→ The One Where Sex Ruins Loki’s Life Forever by phalangical, thor/loki + other asgardians + other mcu characters, NSFW, 13.4k
The thing is, despite the whole taking over-the-world-alien-invasion-shebang Loki pulled, after he escapes from Asgard and comes crawling back to Earth he doesn’t do that much large scale damage. Its almost, Tony thinks, like he’s just trying to piss them off really.
→ And All The Towers Come Down by entanglednow, thor/loki, 1.6k
Thor cannot leave him there.
→ Had we but world enough, and time by amberfox17, thor/loki, 4.4k
Hate and love are two sides of the same coin, and only require time for one to turn to the other. And what do gods have, if not time? Or, a story in three parts, of the past, present and future: how Lævatein was forged, taken and returned, how a relationship can be cracked, shattered and remade, and how Thor lost and found Loki time and time again.
Loki would pay for this, Thor decided as he used his cape to cover the very prominent bulge in his trousers.
Thor winced at the intense pain that shot through his lower back as he crouched down to descend into the steaming pool of water.
→ The Secrets We Keep by salazarssaucystories, thor/loki, NSFW, 5k
Much like Thor’s enormous strength and ability to bullheadedly plow through problems like a total idiot, Loki’s innate sorcery made itself known very slowly and then much too quickly.
"Thor gets injured on a hunting trip and cannot be moved, Sif leaves to get help, Loki stays behind and tells him ancient stories and tales from their youth to keep him distracted."
→ Thor Has A Cold by Velvedere, thor/loki, canon divergence, 1.1k
Set in movie ‘verse where Loki follows Thor to Earth after being banished to keep an eye on him. Hijinks ensue.
→ Being Adopted Runs in the Family by anonymous, thor/loki + avengers + mild tony/bruce implied, fluff, 2.7k
“You’re part Asgardian,” Bruce says, no sugar coating, no preamble, because he’s good with facts, not feelings.
→ untitled by tamidan, thor/loki + avengers, mildly nsfw, 2.7k
Loki looked so helpless, standing alone in an empty glass cage, but Thor knew he wasn’t. A prison meant to hold the Hulk was no match for his brother, and it sent an inexplicable thrill through him. None of SHIELD’s technology nor the Avengers’ abilities could contain his brother; yet, he stood in his cage, waiting. For Thor to come see him?
full details + recs inside!
Thor: The Dark World (liveblog) [x]
This is a good line just for being a good line, it says a lot about Loki and I love it because he’s appealing to the one thing that Thor can definitely still trust—that Loki is fucking furious about everything, that whatever else is crumbling or broken or messy or in flux about him, the one thing you cannot deny is that he is mad as fuck.
His rage over Frigga’s death, that’s one thing that Thor can count on even when everything else is possibly a lie or a trick, that Thor can trust him to do what’s right to avenge their mother.
I love it for all of that. But I also love it because Loki’s way of offering as much of an olive branch as he is capable of, the one thing that they can still connect on, because Loki wants this. Some part of him wants to keep that connection with Thor, no matter how much Loki has (forced himself to) deliberately hacked away at that connection before. Trust him in at least this much, this is something you can still recognize in me, this is something that’s still between us, even if everything else might be gone or hidden.
This is why, no matter what other shit is wedged between them or how far Loki sinks in his madness and self-destructive spirals, I still have hope, because the instant Loki was faced with Thor’s trust in him having been dissolved, Loki reaches out and gives Thor something real to hold onto. Because Loki might work to scheme and con and push people away, but he doesn’t actually want it, not at heart.
Thor: The Dark World (liveblog) [x]
This moment. Thisssss momenttttttt. Where Thor backs away from the fight that Loki goaded him into, where he says something so heartfelt and true, something that wasn’t said in anger or was anything but completely genuine, that said everything about how much Thor missed him, but realized the distance between them, was deeply sad about it, but recognized it as the way things were now.
And in that moment, that’s when Loki just stares at Thor, where he looks like he got punched in the gut, because he realized in a very immediate and visceral sort of way just what he’s lost. I think there’s always some part of Loki that believed his family would endlessly be there for him, no matter what he threw at them. That Thor would always be just as wrapped up in Loki’s pain as Loki is, that his parents would always be there for him, that nothing he did would ever really push people away.
Then his mother dies and now he’s seeing just how far Thor is from him, that it’s not said in anger or something that will pass in a few moments. This is something that’s entirely real and I think it just hit Loki like a ton of bricks in that moment.
It’s one thing to fight with Loki, but it’s entirely another to choose walk away from him out of Thor just being done and the realization that nothing’s going to work like this, rather than the heat of the moment. I will forever think this is why Loki opened up again, just a little bit, on Svartalfheim, because he pushes and pushes and pushes, but he doesn’t actually want Thor to go away. The second it becomes real that Thor starts pulling away, that’s when he reaches out—in his own, still twisted way—and asks Thor to trust some part of him, that’s when he helps Thor on Svartalfheim, that’s when he has to work to regain what he’d lost, even just a little bit, and I can absolutely see hope for Loki’s future. Maybe the ending of the movie fucked that up a lot, but the point is that it’s still, this moment still happened, Loki still reached out, just a little bit, Loki still wants all of what he had before, you’ll never convince me otherwise!
Thor: The Dark World (liveblog) [x]
And, once again, this is how Loki deals with everything—by falling right back into the habit of being a little smirky shit. It’s easy to see the emotion on his face here, that he’s reeling and wobbly, that he cares very much in these moments. That he’s in pain and hurting and upset.
But, having gotten the reaction out of Thor that he’d been needling him, Loki having been more unbalanced by it than he intended, this is right what he goes back to, the spoiled kid who skates out of things by making a funny comment and his best attempt at a, “Aren’t I a little stinker? But you love me anyway.” face.
He doesn’t know how to handle genuine emotion anymore, no matter that he was the one who wanted this, so joke joke joke, smirk smirk smirk, and you’ll ignore the lingering pain and hurt in his face. And this makes him a fascinating character to me and makes me love him dearly and want to pry him apart to see all the messy stuff under the surface, but it also makes me want to smack him upside the head for being such a little shit.
Thor: The Dark World (liveblog) [x]
This moment is really, really important to remember context and the sequence of events here—namely, that Loki just goaded Thor into a reaction, because Loki was itching for a fight, he was deliberately trying to spark Thor’s anger by trying to tear down his relationship with Frigga and was blaming Thor for her death and even blaming him for Loki being in prison.
The other thing that strikes me is, whenever I rewatch this scene, Loki’s face is not someone who is cowering or terrified of physical violence, that is not the face of someone who is scared of being hit. He doesn’t even so much as flicker his eyes towards Thor’s hand, his gaze is absolutely glued to Thor’s face, that hand is not even so much as registering with Loki. This scene isn’t about Thor’s raised fist whatsoever.
This is the first time that Loki has gotten an intense reaction from Thor in the entire movie, this is the first time that Thor’s yelled at him or shown the deep well of anger he has at Loki, this is the first time that he’s lost any of that emotional reserve he has going with Loki—and it’s something Loki’s been spoiling for, but it’s not something he’s prepared for. This is a thing that Loki does, it’s best exampled by the reunion on the Quinjet, where he had to know that Thor was likely to come to Midgard, but the look on his face when Thor lands on that plane, that is the face of someone who thought they were prepared and then wasn’t.
This is the face of someone who egged on a fight between them, who needled until he got it, and then wasn’t at all prepared for the sheer storm of Thor’s anger directed at him again. This is the face of someone who is drinking in the undercurrents and emotions of this fight, rather than the physicality of it.
And, oh, Thor, when he says, “She wouldn’t want us to fight.” He’s trying so hard to keep a lid on his emotions to get through this, to save Asgard and Jane and avenge Frigga, but, as always, it’s Loki that brings out all of this in him. It’s always Loki that he has these intense reactions to, it’s always Loki that frays at his control, until even his iron will snaps, just enough to reveal all that’s roiling underneath his surface. Thor handles it better than Loki (so much better) but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t still grieve over everything that he’s lost, that he’s not someone who feels his emotions incredibly deeply.
Thor: The Dark World (liveblog) [x]
The “What help were you in your cell?” line actually hurts me a lot, because I see it as another instance of Thor’s sorrow at Loki being so distant from them, that he’s angry and sad that Loki wasn’t there to help them, that Loki has kept himself in this role so that they can’t trust him anymore, he’s angry that Loki was gone when they could have used his help, all because Loki’s decided that he’s going to be whatever this is.
But the follow up to that, “Who put me there!?” and “You know damn well who!”, holy shit. Honestly my favorite moment in the entirety of the movie, because that’s it, right in a nutshell right there. Loki blames other people for his incarceration, that he was put in a cell because he did things because of other people’s actions, that all of this is someone else’s fault. It’s not his fault that he was in jail for doing bad things, it’s not his fault that he tried to take over Midgard, it’s not his fault for any of it! It’s Thor and Odin and Asgard’s fault that Loki was there!
And Thor just straight up says IT WAS YOUR OWN GODDAMNED FAULT. Bless and thank. It is Loki’s own fault that he was in that prison when Frigga was killed, that it’s not his fault Frigga died, but it was his fault that he was in that cell, because of all the shit he chose to do, despite that Thor reached out to him, like, three separate times before finally hauling his ass back home. It was Loki’s fault that he continued to deny his family and what he’d done, it was Loki’s own fault that he wouldn’t take responsibility for his actions.
I love every single millisecond of this because that’s the heart of the issue between these two—they love each other, Thor loves Loki very much, Loki obviously still intensely cares, but Loki won’t take responsibility for his actions and Thor is done with trying to reach out to him when Loki won’t let himself be helped or work to make himself better. I love it because Loki tries, yet again, to fall back on the same old habit of denying his culpability here, but Thor just shuts him down on that because, no, it was indeed Loki’s fault that he was in prison.
Loki’s own actions led him there and I’m absolutely convinced that this is what Loki needed to hear, that he needed this anger from Thor (both because Loki’s such a grieving mess that he needed other people to be chaotic and messy with him, but also because he needs to see real consequences of the shit he does to other people) and that’s why he can calm the fuck down after this. He gets what he needs in this moment, attention from Thor, a reaction from Thor, the evidence that Thor still feels strongly about this, but also Thor cutting through his bullshit and attempts to spin the story. This is why Loki comes around a bit by the end (setting aside the ending), because he has to look a little more honestly at himself, given how clearly Thor sees him. It’s a moment where Loki was ready to hear a little bit of it, one small step on a long journey, and I will always and forever see it that way.